I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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