If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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