Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
