i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
