Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
