i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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