Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
