did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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