i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
