how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so let's talk penis.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
