apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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