could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize