census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Randomize