You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
