sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
