I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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