the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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