R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize