I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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