it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
