the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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