I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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