brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
