I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
