I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
