I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
