I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
