You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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