It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
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So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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