best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
