gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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