"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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