when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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