angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
