Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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