Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize