I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
