We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
