this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
