dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
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He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
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I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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