just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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