I wish I could teleport
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
