Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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