I should be sponsored by Trojan
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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