M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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