So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize