she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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