So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize