So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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