Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
