No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
