I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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