Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
