Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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