I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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