he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
