i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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