the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
